Her Devil's Own (I)

How does a heart break?
Some say it breaks into pieces
Others, it pulls apart
While others might say that smashing it under a cold steel tank would be much worse
However, the more efficient way to break a heart, is to give it to someone that is not worthy of it
Trust them with it
& watch as you slowly burn into ashes
But the most painful way known to man kind yet;
After it shatters into a million pieces as it is thrown towards a brick wall,
Someone pulls it back together again for the sake of being kind
Soon after that same person, gets you so attached to them you cannot bare the thought of losing them
& with time you succumb to them,
Trusting them
Giving them everything you own
After all that time has passed,
That same exact person that allowed your heart to beat once more,
Holds you heart still onto a clamp & slowly starts cutting small paper-cuts all around your heart
As you slowly bleed,
Although the bleeding is not worth mentioning
But how would it feel if a thousand paper-cuts scar your surface every time?
As she lays there on the floor with no idea where her "blood machine" went,
For that is what it is to her,
Naked, bare, ashamed of all what has been said & done
She wallows in her sorrow & misery
Remembering all those times when she thought she was in heaven
When she was only in an oasis in the middle of the desert
A desert that has no beginning & no end
Oh, the pain!
How sweet it tastes
How smooth it feels,
As the blood drips from the mouth of the vicious creature that has ripped through those delicate tissues of your heart
How deep the colour red is your blood as it slithers away,
Taking your soul,
Slowly seeing it slip into oblivion
What is left of you is nothing but a bloodless, colourless corpse, worth dispensing
Not worthy of even the slightest bit of skin on it
See as the universe around stays still
Peaceful
As you fall apart
Hoping & praying for someone,
Anyone,
To hear you cries
Begging & pleading,
"Please, oh, please! Save me from this ruthless path to hell!"
Offering yourself to whatever that might come your way
Selling not only your body but soul as well
As someone replies back,
Which is later distant to be the devil you have assigned to yourself,
"What is it for me?"
Then is where you start thinking,
"Oh my God! What have I done?!
What have I placed myself into?!"
Outraged,
You start thinking of a way out,
The direct route & the indirect ones
Slowly your devil notices,
Blocks all passages & ways into & out of the galaxy he has separated you in
You try to sneak away through the fragile holes you see that may appear so weak
But as you start pushing yourself against it
The balloon bursts & all the angry water inside has showered your dreams of freedom with bloody stains,
Ones that no one could account for
You try to remove those stains,
But later,
They turn into burns, wound or scars
That mark you for life,
As the person own by that particular devil
Eons go by,
You look around you
& life is empty
Nothing
A vacuum that just seems so pure
Nothing could go wrong
But then again,
Where are you?
What has gotten you here?
So isolated & away from everything & everyone?
The people you loved & mattered to you the most?
Then lightening strikes
As you realize what you have done
The storm is at it's peak
The winds, the rain & all of God's disasters pour on you as you notice your world has fell apart
Like a key fitting into a specific lock,
Depression finds itself a home to live in, flourish & grow enormously
After decades of trying to kill that beast,
Melt that key away,
You realize you have fed that evasive power & thus you are weak once more
But this time however,
You have succumbed to something so different so odd
It takes you to a whole new world
Filled with different challenges
All with one purpose,
Which is undoubtable,
"How to kill yourself in the most painful way possible?"
She tries once,
Twice,
Three times,
But alas, nothing has given the optimal answer
Although she sicking-ly enjoyed every moment of those various degrees of pain
Taking one to be hers only
So he doesn't succeed
Finally something he doesn't succeed in,
But will it stay that way?

(Written at 10:32 PM / March 25th 2009)